Monday, July 9, 2007

America: still number one!

"He is now so enthusiastic about the assignment of resurrecting NBC’s fortunes that he brings a small set of chimes along with him to meetings so he can play the three-note N-B-C jingle whenever a happy moment occurs." – NYT story about Ben Silverman, the newly appointed co-chairman of NBC’s entertainment operations.

Let it never be said that America lacks business self-helpiness. We fucking rule the world in business self-helpiness. And how do we do it? Oh, they’d like to answer that question in the capitals of the Axis of Evil. In Pyongyang, in Teheran, in Beijing, you can fucking bet your bongos, where they ponder: how is it that America became the biggest and the best? Yes, we know they buy the books: Tom Peters for Dummies in Farsi, Who Moved My Cheese in Korean – they import them, the intelligence services pore over them, they try to come up with that winning formula, that American flow. What they don’t understand, what they will never understand, is that a thing like carrying around a set of chimes to jingle out the NBC jingle when you’ve made a thrilling killa point as you talk with your team, and it is a team looking beyond petty compensations differentials – say when you’ve made the point that you have to walk to the edge of the box that you are thinking out of to gain points with that crushin’, cruising 20 something demo with sexier teh dumb comedy plus competing on the we want torture front with savvy stuff the bill of rights up your asshole, terrorist kind of rockemsockem coporama – that a thing like that comes bubbling all on its ownsome out of the homegrown American amygdala and you can’t counterfeit it, grow it in a tube, or steal the plans for it. Go ahead and try, fuckers! Meanwhile, we will just set here and listen to the heady music of the LI jingle, which gets us all inspired and shit to innovate, innovate and innovate.

1 comment:

  1. This is a big whig CEO, and not Stimpy?

    Happy Happy Joy Joy

    ReplyDelete